I Am 1 in 4… The Silent Struggle of Miscarriage

I am 1 in 4 – a statistic that holds the weight of an experience shared by many women but understood by few. Miscarriage is a silent struggle, often unnoticed yet a defining chapter in the lives of countless women and couples.

I debated on whether or not to share our story publicly, but during the wait for our baby to pass, I found myself looking for resources from women who had gone through the same. Just to clarify, my husband, Luke, and I are not seeking sympathy; I am here sharing my thoughts solely to inform others that we are here to support anyone who is currently navigating, or has navigated, the challenging journey of miscarriage, all while aiming to raise awareness about common misconceptions.

Before experiencing miscarriage, I lacked familiarity with the subject, holding the misconception that it was a quick, near-painless occurrence. However, based on my own experience, the mental and physical challenges associated with miscarriage have proven indescribable and exhausting, extending not only to me but also to Luke.

 Our Story…

On November 14, 2023, Luke and I were taken by surprise when we found out that I was pregnant. The floodgates of different emotions began to pour in. Although we were not expecting it, we were incredibly excited to start a new chapter after recently getting married.

On December 14, we attended my first appointment, anticipating that I would be measuring at 8 weeks. However, to our surprise, the measurement indicated an earlier stage with the presence of two gestational sacs, hinting at the possibility of twins. The uncertainty set in as we were informed that it was too early to draw conclusions. Either my dates were miscalculated, and everything was fine, or there were complications, warranting a follow-up ultrasound the following week. Waiting for that next appointment felt like the longest week of our lives.

On December 21, at the follow-up appointment, the ultrasound indicated some development, but my hopes remained unfulfilled as no heartbeat was found. Another visit was scheduled for a conclusive "triple-check" ultrasound the following week.

On December 27, I received an official diagnosis of a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks pregnant. The recommended course of action was a prescription to "induce labor" at home, subjecting me to intense pain. However, with my husband by my side, I was comforted in knowing that we have each other through anything and everything, signaling the beginning steps taken towards mental healing.

After a follow-up ultrasound, I learned a second dose of medication was necessary. When that didn't work, surgery was scheduled. A D&C procedure in January 2024 removed the remainder of tissue, and I’m currently recovering day by day.

Afterthoughts…

I'll forever wonder what our life would look like now had I heard your heartbeat(s) at that second ultrasound. The ache of silence in my belly fills me with loneliness, and I know that we will never have all the answers. However, I find comfort in knowing the first thing my baby(s) saw when opening their little eyes was Jesus.

Luke and I are healing together, and we believe God has a plan. We want to take a moment to say “thank you” to those who knew our circumstances and offered support and love.

My heart goes out to every mama with angel baby(s). While I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, I find comfort in knowing that I am part of a resilient sisterhood that has faced the profound loss of a miscarriage. The shared stories and support remind me that I'm not alone in this difficult journey.

As one of the 1 in 4 women who face the challenge of miscarriage, I advocate for a more open dialogue about this often misunderstood and under-discussed topic. It's essential to break the silence surrounding miscarriage, fostering compassion and understanding within society. Sharing my story is not only a personal form of healing, but also a contribution to a narrative that aims to raise awareness and support for those struggling with the complexities of miscarriage.

In sharing our journey, I've come to realize the strength that resides in vulnerability, the power of community, and the profound impact of shared stories. To those who have walked alongside us, offering comfort and love during our darkest moments, we express our heartfelt gratitude. Your support has meant the world to us both.

#IAm1In4